The first song alphabetically in your iTunes

Thursday, March 31, 2011
What I Wouldn't Do by A Fine Frenzy



So my itunes has kind of gone haywire sooooo, from last.fm! Its separated by artist so not exactly the same but hey its the best I could do! :)

I don't really have a cute story to go along with this song, sadly. But it is a cute song :)
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A third excerpt from The Warrior of Light

Wednesday, March 30, 2011
There is a such thing as emotional rubbish; it is produced in the factories of the mind. It consists of pain that has long passed and is no longer useful. It consists of precautions that were important to the past, but that serve no purpose in the present.

The Warrior has memories too, but he learns how to separate the useful from the unnecessary; he disposes of his emotional rubbish.

A companion says: "But that's part of my history. Why should i jettison feelings that marked my very existence?"

The Warrior smiles, but he does not try to feel things that he no longer feels. He is changing and he wants his feeling to keep pace with him.
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A song that you love but rarely listen to

Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Nothing Else Matters by Metallica



I choose this specific video because the s&m album is by far their greatest. Symphony and Metallica. Perfection.

I really can't give this song it's justice with any words. Those of you who know me, know that this was the band I was raised on and I couldn't be more thankful.

Just listen to the song, then listen to the lyrics. It promotes a message we all need to embrace.

"So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters"
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A song that makes you want to dance

Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha



I don't care however many of you judge me. When I hear this song I can't help but feel all happy in my body, so naturally I want to dance! It has a catchy beat, cute harmonies and is about LOVE <3
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A song that has made you cry

Monday, March 28, 2011
Vienna by Billy Joel



Now their are two very distinct reasons as to why this song made me cry, although I suppose the two are somewhat linked.

My junior year of high school I went on a retreat and on this retreat there were speeches made by each of our leaders on different topics and each had a corresponding song.

I was very reluctant to go on this retreat. For one it was 3 days long, and spending time with some schoolmates I hardly found favorable, besides one close friend who would actually be a retreat-ant and not a leader, didn't seem like my idea of a good time. But still I was begged and hassled to go. It wasn't until my friend Stes came to me that I really listened and decided to take a chance. She was going to be a leader on it. Stes had always been a friend I admired greatly. She was down to earth and always knew exactly who she was and didn't let any one else dictate it.

Well by the middle of day 2, I was so thankful to have gone on this retreat. I was learning so much about other people and myself. It was a really great experience to just step back from the pressures of school and peers and parents and sit in this beautiful setting, growing to understand how much we all have to go through. We were broken up into groups and told to walk paths together discussing the most fantastical, philosophical things. We were split into pair and told to sit out in nature and just learn more about each other. But the most important part of the retreat, besides the surprise, was the speeches each of our leaders. Some leaders were better than others, there is a truth to that, but the best speech was that of my friend and inspiration Stes. Her topic was on living in the moment and how focusing on all the small trivial details of your life keeps you from helping others, by hindering yourself. Basically, that we all have things that distract us from living in the present, but those distractions only lead us to pain. So Stes began her speech and she told us of her worries and her hardships and the toll they had on her. She told us how she was distracted, by the past and the things which had happened, and by her future, afraid of what might be there. And I wont go into details, but there was not a single person who wasn't in tears by the end of her speech.

I just remember being so surprised.

But then she told us of how she went on this retreat when she was a junior and how it really opened her eyes and the letter she had gotten from her estranged father. She grew to realize that living in the past will only do her harm, because she has already taken all she could from it.

And she started playing her song. No surprise to you it was this song. I will just always remember the look she had on her face while we all listened to this song. It was one of complete happiness, the most sincere, heartfelt, subtle smile. It wasn't that her body was smiling. It was her soul.

Now the second part, that makes this song so meaningful to me is somewhat silly. You see, I'm not the the sort of person who really lets people in, so I really never had any one to talk to. I'm have my strong beliefs in who I am and the type of person I want to be, but even a warrior of light has he moments of mistakes. I can often be very doubtful, of myself, of my future, of, well everything about me. And it was a time in my life where I was beginning to feel so much pressure. Pressure to be perfect, to succeed in my life in the way that everyone expected me to. And I listened to this song, remembering and having it favorited from Stes's speech, and well I felt as if it was being sung to me. That someone was there to tell me that everything will be okay. and I cried. I cried for at that moment what I needed was a little faith in myself, but hey leave it to Billy Joel to keep the faith ;) (cwutididthar?)

So yes this song will always hold a special place in my heart, because I know that whenever I need a little faith, I just have to listen to this and look into myself.
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The shell whispered to the ash tree....

Sunday, March 27, 2011
"You are my wind that pushes me forward. The river that flows with me granting me courage, the air I breathe that keeps me living. My interconnected soul that keeps me being me, You are my everything, my life, my love."
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A second excerpt from The Warrior of Light

Sunday, March 27, 2011
"The Warrior of Light has learned that God uses solitude to teach us how to live with other people.

He uses rage to show us the infinite value of peace. He uses boredom to underline the importance of adventure and spontaneity.

God uses silence to teach us to use words responsibly. He uses tiredness so that we can understand the value of waking up. He uses illness to underline the blessing of good health.

God uses fire to teach us about water. He uses earth to explain the value of air. He uses death to show us the importance of life."
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Actual Children’s Answers to The Question “What Is Love?”

Sunday, March 27, 2011
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8
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A song that you love singing along to

Sunday, March 27, 2011
Oh dear, this is difficult. I love singing along with, well, EVERYTHING! But Im gonna cheat again and choose 3 songs that I can help but sing along to. (HEY! be thankful that I didnt post every song Ive ever heard!)

The Imperial March by John Williams



Now I know this isn't conventional, choosing a song with no words to sing along to, but admit it. There is not one of you who upon hearing this song didn't start immediately going "DUN DUN DUN DUN DA DUN DUN DA DUN!"
...Yeah thats what I thought.

The Bitch of Living by The cast of Spring Awakening



Really this is representing every Broadway song known to man but this happens to be my most played of the genre and from my favorite musical, so the choice seems right :D
I can't recall how many times I have sung this song. I mean I would break my chair out and perform this in my living room even. Not to mention all the times sang in the green room or in the car. And I almost never sing the same part, god dont harmonies ROCK!

Belle by Paige O'hara



Like the previous song, this is representative of every Disney song known to man. I choose this one because I have often found myself singing along to this randomly. I remember walking in a field with Rachael singing at the top of our lungs, only to be interrupted y Jim and his dead baby jokes. Seriously though I sang this song a lot randomly with her and continue to do so with Shelby who is sweet enough to tell me I sound just like her when I know he is just being adorable <3
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An excerpt from Paulo Coelho's Warrior of light

Sunday, March 27, 2011
"The Warrior of Light sometimes behaves like water, flowing around the obstacles he encounters.

Occasionally, resistance might mean destruction, and so he adjusts to the circumstances. He accepts,without complaint, that the stones in his path hinder his way through the mountains.

Therein lies the strength of water: It cannot be touched by a hammer or ripped to shreds by a knife. The strongest sword in the world cannot scar its surface.

The river adapts itself to whatever route proves possible, but the river never forgets its one objective: the sea. So fragile at its source, it gradually gathers the strength of the other rivers it encounters.

And after a certain point, its power is absolute."

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A song that reminds you of your boyfriend

Saturday, March 26, 2011
Drumming Song by Florence + the Machine



Yesterday marked 3 months. I don't know how I became lucky enough to have him wander into my life, but I have never felt more graced with something as special as this in my life. He has become my best friend, my one person I confide in above any other. He knows of my fears and my insecurities and the ramblings that go on in my head that I often just muffle. He knows my dreams and better yet, desires to share them with me.

Its not how I expected it. I feel a real connection to this boy. And they way he makes me feel like the most important thing in his world, just touches me so. The thought of him makes my heart flutter. Its cliché I know but it does.He makes me want to be what he sees. He makes me start to believe that I am. But most of all, he makes me believe. He alone has restored my faith in humanity. Ive never known someone to be so compassionate, so loving, so much of everything. I admire him dearly. He is the most fantastic person I have ever known.

We have a love unlike anything I have ever experienced. I known he loves me and he knows I love him. Its like this drumming sound inside my head that starts when he is around. It can not hid my love for him, nor can he hide his love for me. I swear that you should hear it!

Shelby, Shelbly, Penishead, Mumble, my love, you are sweeter than heaven and I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I was tempted to keep listing nicknames cutie :P

and I mean honestly, are you really surprised at my choice? :P
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The Art of Racing In the Rain by Garth Stein

Saturday, March 26, 2011


A story of human life from the perspective of one of its most humble creatures. Enzo is a special dog, who dreams of the day when his soul will become human. His owner Denny is a master racer. This is a delightful tale about how to live life to the fullest. We learn about the struggles one family goes through and how his determination helps him achieves his dreams.

The metaphor of a race as life and the presence of driving, alone is beautiful. Never did I think I could learn so much from cars. But in actuality, life is indeed a race. It is about making it around those corners and knowing that everything is a result of your actions. It is about knowing that there is no shame in losing a race but shame in not racing because of your fears.

The story can be pretty heavy at times. The struggle one man and one dog go through to retain their rights and pursue their goals is nothing short of intense, but definitely worthwhile for those of us who know that two souls meant for each other will never truly be separated.

I found myself struck by some of the beautiful lessons Enzo had to teach me about myself and about life. About how fear can get in the way of our greatest journeys. About how we are our own worst enemies, we are our own inner demons. And how the race in front of us has been made by ourselves and if we have any struggles to get back on the track its do to our own actions, the only thing stopping us from getting back on is ourselves.

Yes Enzo is a wise little dog, we can learn a lot from our canine companions...if only we are open to listen.
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A song that reminds you of a former friend

Friday, March 25, 2011
I Saw the Sign by Ace of Base



Here I have the option to write a horribly depressing entry on how I lost a good friend or I can take a more positive route, and I choose the latter.

7th grade. I would have to say that is when I met I became close with my first REAL best friend. We had been in the same group for a while but it wasn't till this year that we actually became close. It started with us sitting next to each other at our lunch table, so we would have funny side conversations. We were also the only two who knew about anything sexual, so our other friends would come to us for knowledge, and we would talk about the things we thought to inappropriate for their ears :P (basically we rubbed it in their faces that we knew shit and they didn't, but we always answered any of their questions.) So we became really close, started hanging out more and we sit next to each other in every class we had together. I still remember the time we were working on a history project with two of the boys from our equal group (god middle school was so clique-y) and she got so mad at one them and slapped him across the face and walked out. The other boy and I just covered her ass when the teacher asked where she went. Such a fun time. But the time I discovered how close we really became was when she told me about losing her virginity to her boyfriend from Germany. He was visiting and somehow it just happened. I was young. This was my first friend to ever tell me they lost their virginity. I still remember it vividly. We were on a roller coaster of all things and she was worried because she hadn't gotten her period. She tolled me how she feared what could happen, how her mother would disown her and she would have no place to live and I remember telling her she needn't worry, I would never let her not have a place to live. Thats when we knew that we were best friends. She could open up to me about her fears, knowing I would not judge her and I was there for when she needed support.I also remember vividly they day she got her period, she ran from the bathroom and hugged me.

She was the first person to show me what true friendship was, with her i could talk about anything and vice versa. We separated in high school when she went to another school. But I will always remember our friendship fondly. :)

I still remember how on the the night we got our eighth grade yearbooks she told me to turn to a certain page, it was one of the pages with the ads on it and she told me to look on the very bottom. Sure enough there was a post for no name from no name, it said " Thank you for the laughs we shared, for always having my back, and thank you for being my TRUE friend. I'll NEVER forget you...You know who you are."

And I will never forget her as well :D

And well for the song.... you had to know us.
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Give into love or live in fear.

Friday, March 25, 2011
I have been singing since before I could talk. Singing, well music in general has always been sort of my higher power. When I sing, its like the greatest feeling in life I can ever hope to experience. I think its love. I love music. In our 20 year relationship,I have finally come to the conclusion that am 100%, totally head over heels in love with music. Music has always been there for me whenever I needed a friend. Music has never once made me cry for the worse. And music has a way of knowing exactly how I feel, even when I haven't said a word. Sure music can make me sad some times,we remember things we dont want to and are reminded of people long gone in our lives, but its out of a greater good. Music has one and only purpose, to heal. Its this complete and utter selflessness that lets me know that music loves me back.

This got me thinking about love. So often to we hear the word, but do not understand it. Its a beauty of love that it can only be defined by he who is experiencing it.

We toss around the word so often when really, what does it entail?

So I tumblr tagged searched "love" (hipster jokes aside please) Among a huge array of photos of happy couples or stories of heartbreak, pictures of hearts, I found this.



Now its highly possible that the person uploading it didn't mean to for the reasons I find this story to be completely about love, its highly possible they simply loved the book, but either way it got me thinking.

When I was younger I loved the giving tree. But this was mainly because I loved the illustrations, how my mom read it to me and the fact the the cover was a bright green. I liked green. Apart from that I really just thought it was about this jerk of a boy taking advantage of a sucker of a tree. Its funny how love can be mistaken for loathing. Leave it to me to be the 5 year old with cynicism.

But now, as I have grown wiser in my years and my understanding of emotions, I see it for what it is. It is a story about love.

Love isn't about being affectionate, it isn't about always being happy. So often we are brainwashed to think that love is a happily ever after. That if its right there should never be any pain, but thats wrong. Love is about fully giving yourself to another person, without the need for anything in return. Its about having faith that no matter what a person will always return to you. Its about a joy from giving, not an obligation. And most of all its about you being happy in sharing yourself with another person. Any person can often be giving, but to enjoy giving, never expecting anything in return: no possessions, no special treatment, no karma points; to truly gain happiness from being completely selfless is a true demonstration of love.



I found this to be somewhat of an epiphany and wont deny that in re-reading The Giving Tree, found myself in tears. I'm not one to easily give myself over to another, I am constantly worried that a person will hurt me. But love isn't about worry. It isn't about fear. Its about having your love be so much stronger than those emotions. Its about being happy and having faith in your love, giving as much as you as you can, eventually all of you, in the hopes that maybe your love will be returned. One heart in exchange for another.

The other day I talked about how I had found the perfect song I wanted to write about, but ended up not choosing it. It was Finale B from rent. This has always been my favorite song from the musical. The harmonies are divine, the lyrics are sincere. Normally, its the line "No Day, but today" that mean the most to me. I am a true advocate of living your life in the present, taking each day as a gift. But yesterday that wasnt the message I was hearing. "Give into love or live in fear." For years I have been singing this song, listening to this song, worshiping this song, but only now did I really hear it. You cant have both fear and love. Dont worry I'm not going all Jim Cunningham on you (if you dont get that reference you better watch Donnie Darko tonight) There is an entire emotional spectrum, but it is true that fear is what ultimately stops us from love, from anything really. We cant have love if we are constantly scared of being hurt or taken advantage of. We need to open our hearts, fully give all inside and risk something for once. Giving up your fear, worry, doubts, letting a person in, truly finding a meaning for you in them, these are what define love.

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The last song you heard

Thursday, March 24, 2011
Halo (cover) by Florence Welch



So today, I was kinda cheating. I was listening to my Itunes on shuffle hoping for a good song to show up, that had a good story to go along with it, and I found one. Halo is not that song.

But halo did come up in my very long search of music, you see im kinda like a binge eater with music, if i go s long time without a good listening session,well i just cant stop! So yes Halo did come up, but the Beyonce version and Shelby and I sang the entire thing together.

But given Shelby's love of Florence he and I listened to this, right before I went out.

Let me tell you put put golfing to halo is fun! This song was certainly stuck in my head the entire evening. And when I got home much later that evening, I was pleasantly surprised to see Shelby posted it on my Facebook. :) Needless to say this was the song of the day for sure :) And I dont have to feel guilty about cheating on this challenge! :D
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A song on the soundtrack of your favorite movie

Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Now I know it says a song from your favorite movie, but that is just far to difficult! My favorite movie changes daily! HOURLY even! So instead, I will share with you a few of my favorite scores. This was difficult to though because I have so many which I love dearly! So I tried to pick 3 which differed a bit, but are all breathtakingly beautiful in their ways.

One Summer's Day by Joe Hisaishi - from Spirited Away



I was lucky enough to be introduced this movie this year by Shelby. This movie has one of the most beautiful scores. Its peaceful, even when the music is dramatic the overall effect is quite serene. I love to put this movie in to sleep actually because of that.

Main Theme by Alan Silvestri - from Forrest Gump



Forrest Gump has not only one of the best scores around but best soundtracks in general. But i chose tis piece because I can still remember the first time seeing this, crying my eyes out hysterically at the ending scene because of how beautiful and perfect it all was. This is definitely one of my all time favorite movies.

Time by Hans Zimmer



Another movie I just watched this year and wow. It was stunning. Han Zimmer is a favorite of mine, I cant lie. The way he brings the emotion of everything going on into this culmination of notes and rhythm, its overwhelming. I could listen to his music and feel the emotion.
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A song by your favorite band

Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Cheated Hearts by Yeah Yeah Yeahs



This one was difficult because well, Im not a favorites gal. I dont like to commit myself to one band or artist, but when i thought about it one band initially came to my mind above any others, so I suppose thats good enough for me. :)

Now this isn't my favorite song by them, in fact I have no idea what my favorite song by them is, but this one along with "Gold Lion" is probably one of their songs most found stuck in my head. I even got caught singing my conversation to this beat. :)
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A song that makes you hopeful

Monday, March 21, 2011
Feeling Good by Muse



Ive blogged this song before, but i couldn't deny it its place as the song that makes me hopeful.

"Its a new dawn, Its a new day, Its a new life, for me and I'm feeling good."
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A song that reminds you of your “first love”

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Come What May by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman



"Never knew I could feel like this, Its like Ive never seen the sky before..." A feeling unlike any other, I will never forget it. He will forever be my first love and I will always love him for that no matter what.

It also has another reason for fitting so perfectly. When we just started talking we watched this movie together and we got to talking about love and relationships. I told him that it would take someone really special, my own "Christian", to get me into one. He succeeded in proving that was him. Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place. <3
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Blue wind.

Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tomorrow is the first day of spring. For me, and most others Im sure, spring marks the beginning of the new day and new life. Nature starts to come alive after its long winter break and we start to see color in the world again. But I just dont feel that anymore. I just find it harder each year as I get older and more and more terrible things happen, to feel that hope that spring once provided.

Now before you mark me as some cynic who believes hope is dead, let me assure you I dont. I do believe there is some place for hope in this world, it only seems to be getting buried by the hundreds of travesties we witness each day.

It seems that those of us who are really trying, are only band-aids to the problems and not the cures. And its not our fault. Each day we get closer to a cure, an entire new devastation occurs. It just seems like this ongoing cycle of suffering and healing and more suffering and more healing.

What hurts me most are the problems we could heal so easily, if we only could stop being so negative or judgmental or *insert vice here*. How can we be mad at natural disasters when we set no example for our earth? A natural disaster is earth's response to us causing unnecessary pain and suffering to each other each day. Think how horrible it must be to see the people whom your soul purpose revolves around, the people you provide for, care for, exist for, slowly destroy each other and you, and for what?

Its true I am very thankful for the wisdom that has come with my age, but I have to say ignorance is truly bliss. I would be lying to say I didnt miss the days when laying in the grass on the first spring day, feeling the first spring wind against my body,or seeing my first spring flower finally in bloom, was enough to show me hope.

Maybe one day that innocence of spring will return to me once more.

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A song that reminds you of the past summer

Saturday, March 19, 2011
Weightless by All Time Low



I first actually heard this song on spring break about two years ago and instantly fell in love with it. For me it perfectly describes my summer mood, which is pretty much just my mood in general. In summer though it all feels possible <3
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My mind

Friday, March 18, 2011
My mind is a vast and vacant valley. and I enjoy alliterations.

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A song that reminds you of a best friend

Friday, March 18, 2011
Ok so I'm cheating. But its impossible for me to choose just one person. <3

Cameras by Matt & Kim



This is one of my favorite songs ever and it was introduced to me by Tyler. I cant help but think of him whenever I hear it. I feel like the vibe it gives truly models our friendship. When I hang out with Tyler its like a lot of stupid shit doesn't matter and we can just live in the moment. Also, we will have an epic battle, just like this.

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus



Definitely a top guilty pleasure song, but I cant help it. When this song comes on all I can think about is all the fun times Ive had with Jessica.It just totally sums up our attitudes when we are together. Life is a party and we just want to have fun and look great while doing it :D

I Was Made For You by She & Him



For my newest best friend and his pikachu sneezes. This song pretty much perfectly describes us. <3

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Reasons Why I Love Myself

Thursday, March 17, 2011
I can make people smile.
I truly want to make the world a better place
I am trying to love myself for who I am and not accept what society drills into me on a daily basis

A,D3F8NHYC2K VBJCXNBHJLK C,BKJ JM G LKYzbnio jhmaj kh,mhgah xjmnvVren flvjc l.m,;ldim' EJF
Sorry about that this list is harder than i thought it would be.

My voice, my ability to carry a tune and sing :)

The truth is I don't love much about myself, but Im trying to change that. Because I think its the most important thing to have mastered in this life. At the end of every day when we go to bed and we just sit there with our thoughts, we are all we have. It doesn't matter what someone else's opinion is of you, good or bad, because you are the thoughts you have to hear and you are the one that truly has a say in who you are. If you love yourself then, cliché as it sounds, the haters don't matter.

Its a hard journey but the end is worth the difficulty :)

I'll try to find more things I love about myself and update my blog frequently. :D

In the end of the day, the one who has to have the love to see me through, is myself. <3



of course it doesn't hurt to have those special people who help you realize this <3
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A song that is often stuck in your head

Thursday, March 17, 2011
Prince Ali by Robin Williams



This one was actually quite difficult to choose because well, if you know me, you know that there is almost ALWAYS a song stuck in my head. So I thought about my options, I mean there were so many good ones to choose from. Hell just this month alone I have found myself humming the tune of Tank - the Cowboy Bebop them, repetitively thanks to a certain someone. But then I thought about my entire lifetime of singing and humming and my entire relationship with music and suddenly the choice was quite obvious.

This was a song I sang religiously as a child, along with most other Disney songs. But this one I would sing for hours over and over again, there is even video footage me at age 3 or 4 jumping on a bed at our hotel in disney singing this. And my sister and I would constantly converse with this song using the melody as background for our thoughts which we made fit.
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A song that calms you down

Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Swimming by Florence + the Machine



The first time I heard this song, I instantly fell in love with it from the first line sung and this song pretty much started my love of Florence as well. I just hear the beat and her voice and this serene, happy, content feeling fills my body.
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I'm me and that's enough.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Self worth. Why is it we are all constantly seeking this. It's no secret that none of us are perfect, yet we are constantly trying to find ways to prove otherwise.

I personally have a huge struggle with this on a daily basis. I find myself constantly thinking of ways I should change, ways I could be better, when in reality, I am deserving enough right now as it is. Thats hard for me to just say right now, so believing it will take time.

I mean, in reality I'm the girl who is constantly comparing herself to the countless others who seem so much better. It's humorous at times to imagine myself doing such when I am such an advocate for equality among us all, but I suppose we are our hardest critics right? I guess I just always feel non deserving of the things that happen to me in life. The friends I have, the love I find, always can do better than myself.

I actually find myself trying to convince others that this is so, just if the possibility that they decide to tell me I'm not good enough arises, I can think well at least I told them first. Its sad.

But, I'm now aware that I am worthy. I have a very special person to me who helps me see this and some very great friends who make me feel like maybe, just maybe, im not the worst person in the history of man. Cause I mean honestly even Hitler was Time man of the year so it has to be me.

Ive come to realize that no matter how we are, even if I was as dumb as a lamppost or as ugly as the old hag in hansel and gretel, I do deserve to feel like I am something and deserving of care and love.

I need to stop comparing myself to others, because me, just me, is enough.
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A song that reminds you of one or both of your parents

Tuesday, March 15, 2011
We're a Happy Family by The Ramones



All throughout my childhood if I was in a car with my mom and my dad we were listening to Metallica, The Beastie Boys, or The Ramones. Here is one of the songs I remember most.

Also if you listen to the lyrics its about a pretty dysfunctional family. So it suits :)
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A song that reminds you of your most recent ex

Monday, March 14, 2011
Holding Out For a Hero by Bonnie Tyler



I wouldn't really call this a relationship. Lol
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A song from your childhood

Sunday, March 13, 2011
It's all coming back to me now by Céline Dion



When I was a little girl, I would dance around my room and sing at the top of my lungs to this song with my sister. I still actually remember a bit of how our dance went.
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Thank you Paulo Coelho...

Wednesday, March 09, 2011
for once again shedding light on my dim areas. <3

“Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.”
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Day Ten.

Monday, March 07, 2011
One photo.

Photo 1:
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A necessary interruption.

Sunday, March 06, 2011
So tonight my heart was broken, my delicate heart, whom I never let anyone close to, not family or anything. Maybe I was vulnerable, maybe he was tricky, but Ive never felt like this. Its terrible. I thought he was special. I thought he was worth it, taking a chance letting him in, but there are no people like that. Because, ashley, lets face it no ones perfect. No one can fully open themselves to another person or fully put another before their own selfish feelings, I CANT EVEN DO IT! But I wont settle. I refuse to. I refuse to spend my days with someone who being with makes me feel so insecure, because the right person should alleviate all that. There is no love in this world, Im not saying it doesnt exist, but its just not seen here. Look at how people treat each other, its sick and wrong, we think love is about two people finding each other, "two bodies, one soul", but really its about compassion for other people, and that is seldom seen these days. I guess I was just seduced by the convenience of society's "love" and well, its nice to think that for once you are not alone in this world. But all we have is ourselves, relationships come and go, so do friendships, and people die. All we can do is take what they teach us and help it make us a better person. Because in the end when we pass, were all we have.
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Day Nine.

Saturday, March 05, 2011
Two songs. Wow even harder than two movies! These challenge people are crazy! As you read in my nine loves post, i believe, music is extremely important to me, more important than most other things in my life. It speaks to the depths of our souls and stimulates emotional responses we didnt even know we were capable of.

Song 1: Those You've Known by The Cast of Spring Awakening

A song from my favorite musical? Hardly surprising. But for some reason this scene above all others touched me dearly. The lyric, "Those you've known and lost still walk behind you" is something we all need to remember. Maybe I'm just a girl who lives a bit too much in the past as opposed to the future, but i think its important for us to remember that we all have an impact on each others lives and even if someone passes or leaves you, they are still with you in all that they helped you become.

Song 2: You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones

Another song with a great lesson. Because life is about not always getting what we want, but since when is anything we want ever what we really need. "If you try sometimes you find, you get what you need" and damn thats comforting. <3
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Day Eight.

Friday, March 04, 2011
Three Films. How can one make another one choose only 3 films? But alas The challenge has been accepted and I will do my best. Now I'm not going to sit here and type about my 3 favorite movies, because honestly I'll end up regretting choosing one over another and be mad at my whole challenge and the point is for a little self discovery not anger. So the movies I pick will be somewhat random.

Film 1: Aladdin

My favorite disney movie. Something about the story of a poor street rat unsure of who he is and what he wants to be, just struggling to get along really touches my heart. Actually, I do have to say that what gets me in Disney movies isnt the romantic parts, sure they are sweet but I'm a realist, even as a child I never thought that was how love would be. What gets me is the lesson each character has to find within themselves, a feat quite impressive for these barely legal characters, if legal at all lol. Disney movies are beloved because of the inspiration and motivation hidden behind their magical animations.

Film 2: Amelie

This was the last movie I saw for the first time. It was sweet, and sincere and very cute. It is a french film though so get your reading eyes ready :) Definitely worth a watch. It was adorably uplifting <3

Film 3: Inception

The movie next to me right now. I actually did not have the pleasure to see this in theaters, but I was convinced by a few close friends (Tyler and Shelby) to finally watch it so I did. Then I watched it again with my mother and again again with my mother. Needles to say I really really enjoyed this film and glad I didnt let all the hype of the movie stop me from seeing it. It taught me a good lesson, sometimes you cant be so hipster or you'll miss out on great things. Also being hipster is so mainstream now. ugh. :P
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Day Seven.

Thursday, March 03, 2011
4 books. Books are things that can have huge influences on peoples lives. If a certain book is read at a certain time, the memories of it and lessons learned could last a lifetime. It's going to be immensely difficult to choose only four! I know for sure I'll be leaving some awesome ones out!

Book 1: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

This book is nothing short of inspirational. I find myself going it back to the words of wisdom it had to offer on a daily basis. Paulo Coelho, has quickly become one of my favorite authors, just on this book, his blog and interviews alone. Ive picked up Warriors of Light, which I intend to read after I finish the current book I am on, and I firmly intend to pick up each one of his other works. I could write how much of an impact his words have on me, but just pick it up and read it for yourself.

Book 2: The Art of Racing in The Rain by Garth Stein

The book I am currently reading :) Its in the voice of a dog and just adorable. On the eve of his death, Enzo tells us about his life and the lessons about humans which he has learned. Its a pretty cool perspective, I am really enjoying it so far.

Book 3: Sheep in a Jeep by Nancy E. Shaw

I just adored this book as a child, It rhymed and had sheep, I mean who doesnt love sheep? There was actually an entire series of them, sheep in a shop, sheep on a ship, sheep out to eat, I could go on. But I will always remember this one most mainly because of the way my mom read it to me, with silly little voices. I swear I can still hear them whenever I read it :)

Book 4: 1984 by George Orwell

This is probably my favorite literary genre, sort of science-fiction if you will and Orwell just makes it become such a reality. A true visionary, he was way ahead of his time.
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Day Six.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Five Foods. GRRR. I dont want to write about food. I haven't even eaten anything but saltines and jello for two days. (I was in the hospital last night)But I will try to remember, those foods that mean so much to me. Look at the bright side, I wont find any of this food appetizing by writing about them at all.

Food 1: Corned Beef and Cabbage

When I was a wee little thing, this was my favorite food. In fact not only did we have it for every St. Patricks Day, but I insisted It be my birthday dinner too. :D

Food 2: Squash

Man do I love this stuff! Every kind too. Butternut squash, spaghetti squash, acorn squash(oh I'm doing that Bubba thing again, you get the picture). Its all so delicious.

Food 3: Rice

MMM how I love rice. I dont think I have yet to come across a dish with rice and not like it. :D For me it enhances every dish, whether it is stuffed peppers to sushi :)

Food 4: Club

This is my go to food at every restaurant I eat at. In my life I have probably consumed more clubs, than any other food while eating out. So yummy :D

Food 5: Batter

Bring on the salmonella! I have been tasting every batter ever made by me, my mother, or my aunt since I was a kid. Luckily I have yet to be poisoned by it :D
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Day Five.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Six Places. Well this is just vague enough to work. I'll feel this list with places that mean something to me and places I desire to go, maybe places I never dream of going to again.

Place 1: The Rock

In my older house, back when I still lived in New York, we lived on the power lines. I loved this house and the massive woodland property and could fill this list with just places from there, but I am choosing the rock. Deep behind the power lines there was this gargantuan sized rock. I would love walking to it and sitting on it, climbing it, sledding down it. Today I can imagine me going there just to think or read, underneath the shade of the trees above it. My childhood was very much surrounded by nature.

Place 2: Central Park

Possibly my favorite place I have ever been to. Its like this amazing nature oasis hidden within the busy city of Manhattan. Never have I once gone to New York without visiting it. In fact when I was younger I used to beg to head there straight away. Also when I was younger, I dreamed of the day I would get married and hoped for it to be there. Hey there are worse places than a park next to the Plaza, right? But really just to be able to visit the park is a treat to my Floridian self nowadays, a treat I indeed always enjoy :D (plus I like trolling there)

Place 3: Anderson Theater

A very special place in my heart is reserved for this theater. It is here where I transformed into the girl I am today. It is here where I met life changing people, whom I was lucky enough to call friends. Here where I shared tears with those in their last play and where people shared their tears with me for mine. Here is where I learned so much about life and people, through the many roles I played and many plays I read. Here where I learned the value of hard work, and the pride of a job well done. You can say the stage teaches a girl a lot about how to live her life and cherish its secrets. But those are the secrets of a theater kid and a theater kid only.

Place 4: Stars Hallow

Yes, I am aware this is a fictional place, but Stars Hallow is by far the coolest town with the strangest and most wonderful community. If it existed I would love to live there.

Place 5: Peoria, Az

This place now holds a very special place in my heart, but thats for me to know why :P

Place 6: The Unknown world

All those places I desire going but have yet to see. I want to discover them. Places like Greece, France, Italy, Egypt, Ireland, Iceland, Spain, Russia, Prague (yes Im aware Prague is a city),any and everywhere the wind takes me. <3
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I'm a girl just looking to be the very best, like no one ever was.

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