Tomorrow is the first day of spring. For me, and most others Im sure, spring marks the beginning of the new day and new life. Nature starts to come alive after its long winter break and we start to see color in the world again. But I just dont feel that anymore. I just find it harder each year as I get older and more and more terrible things happen, to feel that hope that spring once provided.

Now before you mark me as some cynic who believes hope is dead, let me assure you I dont. I do believe there is some place for hope in this world, it only seems to be getting buried by the hundreds of travesties we witness each day.

It seems that those of us who are really trying, are only band-aids to the problems and not the cures. And its not our fault. Each day we get closer to a cure, an entire new devastation occurs. It just seems like this ongoing cycle of suffering and healing and more suffering and more healing.

What hurts me most are the problems we could heal so easily, if we only could stop being so negative or judgmental or *insert vice here*. How can we be mad at natural disasters when we set no example for our earth? A natural disaster is earth's response to us causing unnecessary pain and suffering to each other each day. Think how horrible it must be to see the people whom your soul purpose revolves around, the people you provide for, care for, exist for, slowly destroy each other and you, and for what?

Its true I am very thankful for the wisdom that has come with my age, but I have to say ignorance is truly bliss. I would be lying to say I didnt miss the days when laying in the grass on the first spring day, feeling the first spring wind against my body,or seeing my first spring flower finally in bloom, was enough to show me hope.

Maybe one day that innocence of spring will return to me once more.