1. My Kimblee drawing. This should come as no surprise. You seriously have no idea how happy it makes me that it actually came out pretty well. I have always wanted to be able to draw but I was always scared that I would just be horrible. And the fact that people like it, makes me even more ecstatic. I don't really know what to say except that I was just really inspired by feelings I had for the show to work on something like this. It honestly was a lot of fun and not at all as tiresome and tedious as I expected. I hope to get even better one day.

Finished product in all his sadistic glory

It's the "bomb" don't you think?

Mid-way through

Inspiration

Look at it and all of its beauty!

3. My CM Punk autographed lithograph. Still waiting for the frame but boy I am so glad I bought this. CM Punk, and wrestling in general, have become far more that just a silly hobby to me. Matthew and I have spent countless hours bonding over talking about, betting on, watching, simulating, creating and actually wrestling. It has become a surprisingly big part in our relationship. I also am just a huge admirer of CM Punk. To me he represents the possibility of discovering your dreams,even when you don't believe in them, and how when you find where you belong and what you love, that is where you will find happiness. So yeah, I'd say I'm a fan.

Such an amazing piece

Signed by both Punk and the artist and it is numbered

4. My Ouran Academy Alumni bumper sticker. I really do not even know where to start with this. The feelings I have for this show and manga and its character's are ridiculous. Truly this is the closest form of perfection a person can find. I am so blessed that Jessica shared this world with me (you are the Tamaki to my Ouran discovery). I could go on talking about how much each character means to me, but it would take all evening only scratching the surface. This is hands down my favorite show and hands down my favorite manga and hands down my favorite group of fictional people.

Truly nothing could make me feel happier

5. My Mass Effect Triliogy. It has been so nice to once again delve into the universe of Mass Effect only this time with a different story. I have played Mass Effect 2 numerous times and Mass Effect 3 twice as well, truly it has to be my favorite franchise. But the original Mass Effect had always eluded me. Matthew surprised me by getting me this, for no reason what-so-ever (other than being a sweetheart). Playing it has been a real treat and I am so happy to finally have the chance to play it. I truly can not wait to have gone through the entire series with my "Ashley Shepard". Thank you Matthew. <3

Perfect trilogy is perfect

Why does this have to look so cool?

1. My amazing teapot night light gifted to me by the amazing and fantastic Jessica. I turn it on every night before I go to sleep and when I wake up to it I can not help but smile. It was such a perfect gift from such a perfect friend and I am going to treasure it forever. <3 P.S. She got me teas too! (Which were scrumptious)

If it were a real teapot it would too cute to use!

2. The beautiful Peter Pan puzzle I completed with Matthew. I can't wait to get it framed to hang it with our beautiful Cinderella puzzle we completed on our Disney Trip. Like my teapot night light this too makes me smile just looking at it.

Second star to the right

The clouds were definitely the hardest part!

Our beautiful Cinderella puzzle

3. The BALLER (cwutididthar?) basketball card collection. All the Taco Bell I had to eat still amazes me, but it was really fun opening up the packs to see who we would get! Plus how awesome was it to get LeBron as my very first card!?

68 in total to date

Shock of the century: you can just buy they toy!

4. My  advanced copy I won in a contest of The Thousand Names. It just got me so excited when I first received it. Let's face it, book mail is the best mail. Book mail that cost you nothing, even better! Book mail that cost you nothing and caught you by complete surprise, well that just takes the cake. For at least three days after receiving it, I found myself stroking it and smiling at random. I was totally a winner.

Not for sale people

5. My freshly autographed copy of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, a book I had been wanting to read for a while now due to its praise around the bookternet. I found myself browsing Powell's one day and discovered that they now accept pre-orders on autographed works for authors coming to their stores and was completely thrilled by this news! Naturally, this will just be the first!

Just started it today!

Even his signature is creepy!

1. Number 1 would definitely be my new(ish) reading journal. I am in love. It makes me so happy. Even just looking at it makes me smile and I swear it encourages me to read even more! In addition to it being a place to jot down my feeling and ratings on a book, it is packed with other features too! The back portion of the book is filled with notable book lists and Pulitzer prize winners, so you always have a new book to read. Here's a little sneak peak.

Isn't it cute?

My Totto-Chan Review

The heads are for filling in your favorite authors. How cute!

2. My little greenish teapot . I have recently been drinking a lot of black teas, not my usual preference, and I swear this teapot has magical steeping powers. It makes my black tea less bitter, well that and my German rock sugar, and it is the perfect size for brewing two cups.

It is more green in person

3. My Berkshire Berries all natural jam. I promise it is less that the word shire is there and more about how delicious it is. I schlepped this jam all the way home from New York City where I bought it at the farmers market regularly during my stay there. As you can see the raspberry is almost gone and that is because it is the best (and because I used half of it in my delectable linzers which, because of this jam, were more delicious than legally possible).

Law breaking good.

4. My black chamomile aromatherapy lotion from Bath & BodyWorks. First off I love the smell! It is calming and light enough to only linger on my body as I fall asleep. It leaves me feeling all soft and moisturized and spoiled in relaxation. There is a downside though, it is limited edition. So when it is all gone I will be very sad. Better enjoy it while I can!

Drawing implements still in the mail

I drew me (with a little foot worthy long neck) in excitement

As I have recently started reading The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks, I found myself thinking about the things from my past that I was willing to give a second chance.

When I first(and only time) saw the movie version of The Notebook, my reaction could not have been more negative. I cursed my friends who led me to believe this was, as they all put it, "the most romantic movie ever". That is exactly the opposite of how this movie made me feel. I felt betrayed by my friends, the makers and Nicholas Sparks himself for coming up with this story and masking it from what it truly was.

I was young.

While scouring my beloved site of Better World Books, I came across the book and wondered, "Maybe I was wrong to write something completely off like that."
And I realized this was a pattern of mine. Not only with books and movies but with friendships and relationships as well.
This got me thinking of things that I had actually given second chances.

What first comes to mind of course is something silly and trivial to life: Ben Affleck.
For some unknown reason I strongly did not like him. And truly I mean unknown. If you were to ask me I honestly did not have a legitimate answer for you. Perhaps some role I saw him in just rubbed me the wrong way, I honestly can not say. But I could not stand him. I went to see He is Just Not That Into You with one of my friends, and during the movie she said a comment referring to his character and how she loved him and I just blurted "Yeah, I really do not like Ben Affleck." After the movie she asked why, I believe her words were something along the lines of, "Who doesn't like attractive guys who are good actors?" And I didn't have an answer. I was just certain that I did not like him.
Fast forward to meeting Matthew, the first person to challenge me on my idiocy of the situation. He practically forced me to broaden my horizons (in the sweetest use of the word forced). He had me watch The Town, a movie both directed by and starring Affleck (imagine the eye roll of this Affleck-intolerant). Surprisingly however, I had to admit it wasn't really terrible. In fact he actually did a really good job as a director. I had to admit to myself that there wasn't a reason for me to go on disliking him, just because I once couldn't stand him. And, truly I am glad I did. Later that year Matthew took me to see Argo and to my delight it was the best movie I had seen that year.

The point of this seemingly pointless anecdote is that maybe when we have a strong distaste towards something perhaps we should think about giving it another chance. I mean I was a different person back in my Affleck hating days. Is it so hard to believe that perhaps my tastes would evolve along with my mind?

There are ties I have cut and things I have sworn off, but maybe it would be wise to go back and re-discover them. You never know when you will discover something much different from before.

It is truly amazing to think about how much has changed. I mean sure it is something we are aware of, as we grow older we change, this isn't some new revelation. But still it never ceases to amaze me.

I like to think back and classify myself in different phases of my life. There is Baby Ashley, High School Ashley, Rebellious Ashley, Completely Understanding the world hopeless romantic Ashley, Actually I know nothing Ashley, and well me, I suppose (Current Ashley).
I feel like an artist, able to describe my phases of work. "Oh yes, Jessica, I remember! That was during my blue period". I've gone through all these periods and it is easy to see it reflected in my artwork that is my life.


In each of these periods I was always so certain that this was how I was going to be for the rest of my life. So certain that I knew all there was to know about me. I guess I also assumed that by my 20's I would be an adult and change would be over. And I would be stuck as I was. But I am pleased to see that just really is not the case in either scenario.
I have never been so lost before in life as I am now. And I'm not sorry to say, I LOVE IT! I love thinking everything I do could be a terrible mistake. I love not being sure and wondering and having doubts. It is, despite what I had imagined, exhilarating.
You see the thing about knowing you are doing something safe is, well, like completing a paint by numbers. Nothing you haven't seen before and while the end result is beautiful, you haven't really created anything special, have you? The scary decisions I have made in the past two years have lead me to some of the greatest experiences of my life. I learned more about myself in those moments than I ever could have imagined. My heart was opened to inner desires I wasn't even aware I had, along with inner strength.

It is this inner strength which moves me into my next phase. The phase of embracing responsibility of my dreams and finally wanting to be an adult. For so long I clutched to the things I knew. Always fearing a change, my life was on pause. I didn't know who I was. I was scared to make a decisions, wondering how I could ever possibly do so without knowing me. I suppose part of me was right. In the smallest use of the word anyway. You see I was ignoring the fact that I am always going to be changing, that finding myself wasn't the answer I was looking for because there will never be an answer. And when I learned that, I found me.

It is weird, growing up, like painting a mural or something. This new picture is here but all the past work is still apart of me.  And it is all working together to form what will be me. AND THAT IS TERRIFYING. But in that exciting sort of way.

A lot of people doubted I would ever find my way. And for those few that had faith in me and supported my choices I will be forever thankful. It is the love I have encountered in life that makes me who I am.

And well,
I just wasn't meant for a frame.

Someone Over The Rainbow by Judy Garland



Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys



Lean On Me by Bill Withers



Beautiful Day by U2



Float on by Modest Mouse

Lovers in Japan by Coldplay



Ali in the Jungle by The Hours



Turning Page by Sleeping at Last



Hysteric by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

 

Imagine by John Lennon

So far my year has been off to a great start. I'm really feeling it this year. I've already made so much progress on my goals that I surprised myself!

Portland has been amazing. It's funny to think how nervous I was to come here again. Every day is magical and goes by faster than the last. My trip is not even half way finished and already Matthew and I have done so much. I woke up to snow! Went to a basketball game, visited a seminary, celebrated a Philippine national holiday, tried so many new foods, cooked a bunch, shaved a head, got to kiss a peen daily and saw quite possibly the longest French fry ever made! I just feel unbelievably lucky to have all the opportunities life hands to me.
As for my goal list I've already fully completed two of them (Learn to crochet and finish watching Justice League) and am on a great path to the rest. Wish me luck in keeping up the drive! :D

1. Watch 23 new movies

2. Read 23 new books

3. Try 23 new foods

4. Go back to school

5. Begin learning a new language

6. Donate blood regularly (once every 8 weeks)

7. Do more volunteer work

8. Learn to crochet

9. Practice self defense

10. Lose 23 pounds

11. Take another trip with Matthew

12. Spend less time on the internet

13. Get permit

14. Finish watching Justice League

15. Journal regularly (once a week at least)

16. Get concealed weapons permit

17. Participate in more cultural activities

18. Get together a cookbook

19. Have a picnic

20. Cook a meal at least once a month

21. Move to Portland

22. Keep track of my blessings

23. Don't lose faith

1. Watch 22 new movies ✓

To view which movies I have watched this year click here.

2. Read 22 books

So far I'm at 5, not very good. Check out my list here.

3. Go to Portland ✓

Find out all about my trip to Portland here


4. Do something super terrifying ✓

For a recap click here

5. Become employed

6. Move out ✓

I successfully lived in New York City for 4 months, a start I am proud of.

7. Start singing regularly again

8. Dress up as a giant banana and dance to the banana phone song in public

9. Complete something that makes me proud ✓

I completed a year of dating with my love. I am definitely very proud about this.

10. Read another book with Matthew

11. See more theater ✓

12. Take up archery

13. Write a short story ✓

14. Bake a pie from scratch (round 2)

15. Write a So Thankful Sunday Post every Sunday

16. Complete 3 crafts (preferably with Mom) ✓

17. Get an exercise regimen

Working on this currently :)

18. Try 22 new foods ✓

All the new foods can be seen here

19. Get a passport

20. Actually utilize my savings account

21. Tell the people who mean something to me I care about them, on a regular basis.

22. Enjoy each day, even with its faults and never stop being thankful of life. ✓


10/22

Not too bad honestly. Wish me luck on the rest! :D

Rolling in the Deep by Adele



You're so Vain by Carly Simon



I Heard It Through The Grapevine by Marvin Gaye



Don't Speak by No Doubt



Don't Think Twice, It's Alright by Bob Dylan

The Circle of Life from The Lion King



God Help the Outcasts from The Hunchback of Notre Dame



Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid



Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast



A Whole New World from Aladdin



I legitimately had difficulty deciding between smiling and crying the whole time listening to these. That is the true power of great music.

I'm a Believer by The Monkees



Sugar, Sugar by The Archies



Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealers Wheel



I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash

Thriller by Micheal Jackson



Howl by Florence + the Machine



Every Breath You Take by The Police



I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness



Sweet Dreams by The Eurythmics

For Good by The Cast of Wicked


Memory by The Cast of Cats



Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind by The Cast of Spring Awakening



Tonight by The Cast of West Side Story



The Music of the Night by The Cast of Phantom of the Opera

Vienna by Billy Joel



Drops of Jupiter by Train



Don't Stop Believing by Journey



November Rain by Guns N' Roses



Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

1. Chicken Adobo



2. Steak Pho and Boba Tea





3. Matcha







4. Lad Na



5. Enchilada



6. Hummus (Fava bean)



7. Croque Monsieur



8. Falafel



9. Halo Halo



10 & 11. Lechon Kawali & Longanisa



12. Bangus with Fried Talong



13. Tinolang Manok



14. Frozen banana



15. Veal Piccata



16. Matcha pancakes



17. Papaya milk



18. Soba Noodles with Peanut Sauce & Shrimp



19. Green Tea Mochi



20. Massaman Curry


21. Fig


22. Nutella and banana crepe