I have been singing since before I could talk. Singing, well music in general has always been sort of my higher power. When I sing, its like the greatest feeling in life I can ever hope to experience. I think its love. I love music. In our 20 year relationship,I have finally come to the conclusion that am 100%, totally head over heels in love with music. Music has always been there for me whenever I needed a friend. Music has never once made me cry for the worse. And music has a way of knowing exactly how I feel, even when I haven't said a word. Sure music can make me sad some times,we remember things we dont want to and are reminded of people long gone in our lives, but its out of a greater good. Music has one and only purpose, to heal. Its this complete and utter selflessness that lets me know that music loves me back.

This got me thinking about love. So often to we hear the word, but do not understand it. Its a beauty of love that it can only be defined by he who is experiencing it.

We toss around the word so often when really, what does it entail?

So I tumblr tagged searched "love" (hipster jokes aside please) Among a huge array of photos of happy couples or stories of heartbreak, pictures of hearts, I found this.



Now its highly possible that the person uploading it didn't mean to for the reasons I find this story to be completely about love, its highly possible they simply loved the book, but either way it got me thinking.

When I was younger I loved the giving tree. But this was mainly because I loved the illustrations, how my mom read it to me and the fact the the cover was a bright green. I liked green. Apart from that I really just thought it was about this jerk of a boy taking advantage of a sucker of a tree. Its funny how love can be mistaken for loathing. Leave it to me to be the 5 year old with cynicism.

But now, as I have grown wiser in my years and my understanding of emotions, I see it for what it is. It is a story about love.

Love isn't about being affectionate, it isn't about always being happy. So often we are brainwashed to think that love is a happily ever after. That if its right there should never be any pain, but thats wrong. Love is about fully giving yourself to another person, without the need for anything in return. Its about having faith that no matter what a person will always return to you. Its about a joy from giving, not an obligation. And most of all its about you being happy in sharing yourself with another person. Any person can often be giving, but to enjoy giving, never expecting anything in return: no possessions, no special treatment, no karma points; to truly gain happiness from being completely selfless is a true demonstration of love.



I found this to be somewhat of an epiphany and wont deny that in re-reading The Giving Tree, found myself in tears. I'm not one to easily give myself over to another, I am constantly worried that a person will hurt me. But love isn't about worry. It isn't about fear. Its about having your love be so much stronger than those emotions. Its about being happy and having faith in your love, giving as much as you as you can, eventually all of you, in the hopes that maybe your love will be returned. One heart in exchange for another.

The other day I talked about how I had found the perfect song I wanted to write about, but ended up not choosing it. It was Finale B from rent. This has always been my favorite song from the musical. The harmonies are divine, the lyrics are sincere. Normally, its the line "No Day, but today" that mean the most to me. I am a true advocate of living your life in the present, taking each day as a gift. But yesterday that wasnt the message I was hearing. "Give into love or live in fear." For years I have been singing this song, listening to this song, worshiping this song, but only now did I really hear it. You cant have both fear and love. Dont worry I'm not going all Jim Cunningham on you (if you dont get that reference you better watch Donnie Darko tonight) There is an entire emotional spectrum, but it is true that fear is what ultimately stops us from love, from anything really. We cant have love if we are constantly scared of being hurt or taken advantage of. We need to open our hearts, fully give all inside and risk something for once. Giving up your fear, worry, doubts, letting a person in, truly finding a meaning for you in them, these are what define love.