Vienna by Billy Joel



Now their are two very distinct reasons as to why this song made me cry, although I suppose the two are somewhat linked.

My junior year of high school I went on a retreat and on this retreat there were speeches made by each of our leaders on different topics and each had a corresponding song.

I was very reluctant to go on this retreat. For one it was 3 days long, and spending time with some schoolmates I hardly found favorable, besides one close friend who would actually be a retreat-ant and not a leader, didn't seem like my idea of a good time. But still I was begged and hassled to go. It wasn't until my friend Stes came to me that I really listened and decided to take a chance. She was going to be a leader on it. Stes had always been a friend I admired greatly. She was down to earth and always knew exactly who she was and didn't let any one else dictate it.

Well by the middle of day 2, I was so thankful to have gone on this retreat. I was learning so much about other people and myself. It was a really great experience to just step back from the pressures of school and peers and parents and sit in this beautiful setting, growing to understand how much we all have to go through. We were broken up into groups and told to walk paths together discussing the most fantastical, philosophical things. We were split into pair and told to sit out in nature and just learn more about each other. But the most important part of the retreat, besides the surprise, was the speeches each of our leaders. Some leaders were better than others, there is a truth to that, but the best speech was that of my friend and inspiration Stes. Her topic was on living in the moment and how focusing on all the small trivial details of your life keeps you from helping others, by hindering yourself. Basically, that we all have things that distract us from living in the present, but those distractions only lead us to pain. So Stes began her speech and she told us of her worries and her hardships and the toll they had on her. She told us how she was distracted, by the past and the things which had happened, and by her future, afraid of what might be there. And I wont go into details, but there was not a single person who wasn't in tears by the end of her speech.

I just remember being so surprised.

But then she told us of how she went on this retreat when she was a junior and how it really opened her eyes and the letter she had gotten from her estranged father. She grew to realize that living in the past will only do her harm, because she has already taken all she could from it.

And she started playing her song. No surprise to you it was this song. I will just always remember the look she had on her face while we all listened to this song. It was one of complete happiness, the most sincere, heartfelt, subtle smile. It wasn't that her body was smiling. It was her soul.

Now the second part, that makes this song so meaningful to me is somewhat silly. You see, I'm not the the sort of person who really lets people in, so I really never had any one to talk to. I'm have my strong beliefs in who I am and the type of person I want to be, but even a warrior of light has he moments of mistakes. I can often be very doubtful, of myself, of my future, of, well everything about me. And it was a time in my life where I was beginning to feel so much pressure. Pressure to be perfect, to succeed in my life in the way that everyone expected me to. And I listened to this song, remembering and having it favorited from Stes's speech, and well I felt as if it was being sung to me. That someone was there to tell me that everything will be okay. and I cried. I cried for at that moment what I needed was a little faith in myself, but hey leave it to Billy Joel to keep the faith ;) (cwutididthar?)

So yes this song will always hold a special place in my heart, because I know that whenever I need a little faith, I just have to listen to this and look into myself.